He disabled his match.com account in front of me
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
