I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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