She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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