My first STD was from a foam party
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
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