Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
My feet surprised me
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