Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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