What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
