Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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