seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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