Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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