weddingsv make me drug and hornr
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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