Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
