dude i'm inner monologue high
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Can you bring me the toilet please
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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