even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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