it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
