omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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