ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
