Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
