I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I want her autograph on my taint
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
