Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
