but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
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