whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
