My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
