If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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