your room smells of hookers.
And success
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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