your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
