I'm sorry my penis didn't work
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
