For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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