hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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