I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
