It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
