we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
