That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
my sisters under your porch take her home
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
