Need sex. Gaining weight.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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