i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
