Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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