I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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