so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
