We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
