God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
