I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
