Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
