I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
