she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
