I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
