i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
