No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
