i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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