we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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