# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
