sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
