so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
