they need to just BURY HIM!
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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