does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
